Texts to: Everyone

[bestfuneralever]

hey.
this is klaus
this is a mass txt
do u no where i am?
cuz i dont
im lost
send help

Comments

[the_horror]

how are we suppose to know where you are?

[bestfuneralever]

idk
maybe u say me last nite
or I said aomethin to u b4 i left???f

[the_horror]

you said a lot of things
most of which i didn't pay attention to
what's around you right now?

[bestfuneralever]

well I bet u lrnd ur lesson niw!!!
PAY ATTNT TO ME BEN



uhhhh a sketchy donut shop that's prob a cover for a drug carrtl?

[the_horror]

i was busy
and not drunk

um... jeez... there are a ton of those

[bestfuneralever]

hahaha ur cute uf u think i was jusdrunk well thatsall i got rn sry i suck

[the_horror]

i was being polite and not pointing that out
but i pay attention

and you do suck
what's the streeet signs say around you
or hell, the name of the donut shop?

[bestfuneralever]

u just said u didnt tho y do u liiiiie, ben its bad 4u holey moley donuts

[the_horror]

do you know how much attention i paid you over the last decade?
im allowed to ignore you once in a while
no lie
but yes now im regretting it
better?

wtf are you even in the same city?

[bestfuneralever]

[Well, when Ben puts it like that....] ok im sry. i...dk?

[the_horror]

[............... why does he feel bad that Klaus apologized? Jeez]

i didnt mean it in a mean way
sorry
okay lets see
what would diego say....

turn on your GPS?

[bestfuneralever]

[Klaus' guilt radiates thru phone lines and infects ppl tbh.] its ok omg u dont have 2 be D, Ben charlies coming 2 get me

[the_horror]

yeah but being diego works sometimes
dont tell him i said that
glad char is coming for you though
so does that make me the entertainment to keep you distracted while you wait?

[bestfuneralever]

ur secrerts safe w/ me [Because he'll probably forget this conversation in an hour anyway. #SorryImLikeThisBro] idk u prob dealt w/ my bullshit enough to last a lifetime at this point amirite 2 of them even at this point im sure i can deal for 20min wile she makes her way here or w/e [The saddest part is, he doesn't say things like that to push a guilt trip or manipulate-- his self-esteem and self-worth are just lower than the ground itself and it seems like basic facts to him.]

[the_horror]

[Thing is, he misses the idiot. He misses having him around all the time.]

you piss me off some times
and you drive me crazy a lot of the time
but youre worth it to me?
so i dont mind being the entertainment or distraction or whatever while you wait
you might have got rid of me haunting your ass
but im still around, ok?

[bestfuneralever]

ben ben ben ben i'm not as fucked off my ass as i was last night but i am still too high for this ur gonna make me cry asshole [Almost as an after-thought, he adds:] said w/ ❤️

[the_horror]

klaus
klaus
idiot
klaus

dont care
only speaking the truth
cry
itll make it more amusing for charlie when she gets there
said w/ ❤️

[bestfuneralever]

i hate u but also ilu idk emotions r hard

[the_horror]

i enjoy giving you emotional heartburn
ilu2 id10t
what were you doing on that side of town anyhow?

[bestfuneralever]

as long as some1s getting something out of it
r u mocking me
dude idk. idek how i got here

[the_horror]

we both are getting something out of it
i cant mock my love for you brother
how high were you last night?

...

(Y)
( ..)
o(") (")

[bestfuneralever]

❤️❤️❤️

I was

[He hit send too fast and then there's just NOTHING.

...

.....

........

What Ben isn't witnessing now is that Klaus is laughing his ass off at a thought he had.

And then the bouncing bubbles appear as he finishes answering his brother's question.]

I WAS ON THE MOON

[the_horror]

[Oh no, he stopped. He was about to ask what he was saying, waited a bit longer, started typing, paused when he saw the bubbles and waited. Waited and... snorted. Oh.]

that high huh
im sad i missed it

(\_/)
(>.<)
(")_(")

[bestfuneralever]

I'm dead.
i cant
it was 2 perfect ok
im just
dead now


omg r u gonna make me an army of them?!!!

[the_horror]

now im singing
fly me too the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On a, Jupiter and Mars

thanks

() ()
(* *)
( 0 )o

yes