Texts to: Everyone

[bestfuneralever]

hey.
this is klaus
this is a mass txt
do u no where i am?
cuz i dont
im lost
send help

Comments

[lucky_no_7]

Fair point.
And tbh we all know someone should stay on with you until she gets there.

[bestfuneralever]

seeee
so i shld talk 2 u!

[lucky_no_7]

So fun fact I have discovered about your current favorite doughnut shop it WAS a mob front, but then the owner found out doughnuts were more profitable and he was better at it anyway.
So it went legit in like, the 50s.
But then the neighborhood got bad, business declined and he sold it.

[bestfuneralever]

wtf
u srsly just looked that up?
or r u making it up
i mean id never know either way, lbr

[lucky_no_7]

Looked it up!
I mean, mostly it's just 'heard it from a guy who knew somebody' but enough of those all stacked up usually means most of the story's legit.

[bestfuneralever]

fair

what r ud oin anyway

[lucky_no_7]

Besides making sure you don't get abducted before Charlie gets there you mean?
Inventing sandwiches.

[bestfuneralever]

what kind of sandwiches tho

[lucky_no_7]

Whatever's in the pantry and the fridge.
So far turkey&jam is the worst, but grill one of Five's pb&ms and it's even better.

[bestfuneralever]

turkey&jam just SOUNDS awful that ... sounds promising might have 2 remember that later

[lucky_no_7]

I mean, a little bit of jam in a ham&cheese is great, especially if you've got fancy cheese, I wanted to see if it held up with other meats, it didn't.
and yeah! warm peanut butter sounds like a not great idea at first, but the oils in it start to make the marshmallows all goopy, it's amazing.

[bestfuneralever]

that also sounds gross, luce wtf y r u puttin jam on meat


[In case you were wondering, yes, he is still very much a 15yr old boy, mentally, you're welcome.]

no no i def like melty peanut butter its the best part of putting it on toast
so tbh this sounds perfect

[lucky_no_7]

Sweet/savory, it's a gourmand thing you ill-sophisticated gremlin.

[She's fully aware, the same way she knows he'll know the insult is a joke, though they generally are with her anyway.]

Still don't understand how you can put peanut butter on toast, that's just, ugh. MAYBE pancakes, but only maybe.

[bestfuneralever]

gour-what? idk what that even means
stop making up words lucy
i am not a gremlin u can ttly feed me after midnight

ITS THE BEST KINDA TOAST
p.s. waffles r betr

[lucky_no_7]

Gourmand, those people who like food for the aesthetic and eat fancy stuff just because they can, I didn't make it up, the French did, so blame them.

Fairy toast is the best kind of toast, and waffles are just pancakes that have abs.

[bestfuneralever]

the french r so EXTRA

pancakes with abs
omfg
ilu

what is fairy toast
make me some when i get home???
i want it.
idc what it is
i want it on name alone

[lucky_no_7]

I'll make you some, just have to go to the store first, but I was going anyway, out of some things.
You just have to tell me what the best color is.
Not your favorite, just the best (unless your favorite IS the best, in which case ignore this instruction)

[bestfuneralever]

yassss luce ur the best no wait colors for what i have OPINIONS about colors but i needa know what its for to have the right one

[lucky_no_7]

opinions about colors. Of course you do.
Okay so, if you happened to meet a fairy, what color would you expect them to be?

[bestfuneralever]

yes ofcourse i do
this shouldnt even be a surprise

green

[fireandthread]

Peanut butter in waffles with dark chocolate chips. Put the chips in first when the waffle is hot so they melt. Then the peanut butter. And maybe banana slices if mom is watching.

[lucky_no_7]

Am I the only one in this godsforsaken family that DOESN'T like warm peanut butter?

[fireandthread]

Probably.

[bestfuneralever]

some os us have taste 😜

[bestfuneralever]

dark c`hocolate, best choclate.