A hollow, mirthless sound that can't really be called a laugh escapes him at that first remark. "Yeah, okay." He laughs again, the same lack of happiness found there, shaking his head. "Just nearly killed myself by being a complete idiot, but your family sucks, so it's fine," he makes overly sarcastic jazz-hands with those last two words and scoffs again. He knows that isn't... really what he was getting at, but for all that he was forced to grow up much faster than he ever should have due to the circumstances of his raising... Klaus is still only seventeen and he still has so very specifically teenager reactions to things.
He still can't wrap his mind around this thing that Klaus keeps telling him. That somehow, just the fact that it's happened over and over, meant that even the act of dying, or almost dying, just stops being scary. He, what, got desensitized to it? Cocky about it because it kept almost-happening, but never actually went all the way?
"No it's not." he hates how absolutely broken his voice is with those three tiny words. Like they hold the weight of the entire universe in them and are straining under it all. "If I go back, somehow, then-- Ben's gonna die. Like any day, apparently. The other one- other us- he said. He said I had to be really close to when it happened because Ben didn't even make it to our next birthday. I can't..." He shakes his head, his mop of curls bouncing with the action. "How do you ever--" 'Get over that' is just not something he can bring himself to put words to, and instead he takes in a sharp breath and a whole new flood of words pours out in its place.
"I mean, I know you're not really supposed to have a favorite sibling or whatever, but you know Ben is definitely mine and the one I'm closest to and how do you- I can't- I don't wanna do this. I can't," He shakes his head again, annoyed that tears are making his vision blurry and why did he ever agree to leave the house, this was the worst plan ever, he was not ready for the public. "I can't." He knows he's breathing too fast, and he can hear his own heartbeat pounding like sneakers on pavement, fast and steady, in his ears-- but he can't stop any of it, either. He doesn't really have much in the way of skills to control how hard these panicked spells hit him
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He still can't wrap his mind around this thing that Klaus keeps telling him. That somehow, just the fact that it's happened over and over, meant that even the act of dying, or almost dying, just stops being scary. He, what, got desensitized to it? Cocky about it because it kept almost-happening, but never actually went all the way?
"No it's not." he hates how absolutely broken his voice is with those three tiny words. Like they hold the weight of the entire universe in them and are straining under it all. "If I go back, somehow, then-- Ben's gonna die. Like any day, apparently. The other one- other us- he said. He said I had to be really close to when it happened because Ben didn't even make it to our next birthday. I can't..." He shakes his head, his mop of curls bouncing with the action. "How do you ever--" 'Get over that' is just not something he can bring himself to put words to, and instead he takes in a sharp breath and a whole new flood of words pours out in its place.
"I mean, I know you're not really supposed to have a favorite sibling or whatever, but you know Ben is definitely mine and the one I'm closest to and how do you- I can't- I don't wanna do this. I can't," He shakes his head again, annoyed that tears are making his vision blurry and why did he ever agree to leave the house, this was the worst plan ever, he was not ready for the public. "I can't." He knows he's breathing too fast, and he can hear his own heartbeat pounding like sneakers on pavement, fast and steady, in his ears-- but he can't stop any of it, either. He doesn't really have much in the way of skills to control how hard these panicked spells hit him